I have the Fox News app on my phone. I know, I know. Sue me. I always like to be reminded of how far the republican party has wandered. But every once in a while they get something right. Today was the day. Cue the band, confetti and a fireworks finale!
In case you missed it, Christianity Today issued a column by it’s editor stating that they believed Donald Trump should be impeached. And not just that, but the president “is a near perfect example of a human being who is morally lost and confused.” So, while I applaud CT coming out and stating this position, I doubt it will change the minds of any Evangelicals. Too late. And evangelicals knew all of this when they chose him as their republican nominee and then president. No, there is nothing this man can do that will change their support of him. Why? Because he has already done it.
As you can imagine, Trump never fails to respond from being called out and he has revealed his understanding of the agreement he made with evangelicals. They do the dirty deed of voting for and supporting him no matter what, and he will reward them handsomely when the deal is done. I almost put that he would leave a $100 bill on the nightstand in the morning but perhaps that would be too crass. Of course, now I’ve said it….
He tweeted nearly immediately calling CT a “A far left magazine, or very “progressive,” as some would call it, which has been doing poorly.” Um, “far left” and “progressive”?! No, that is asinine, and if you as a Christian repeat it, you have revealed how little intellectual integrity you have. I assume that goes for the crazy leftist Max Lucado or John Piper among others as well. Christianity Today is about as non-controversial a publication representing evangelical Christianity that exists today. But you see, labeling things “leftist” or “liberal” or “socialist” is a way to show they are the enemy. He also expressed his frustration that “No President has done more for the Evangelical community, and it’s not even close. You’ll not get anything from those Dems on stage.” You see, he expects total allegiance. We must place our faith in him, never waver, never wonder. THAT WAS THE DEAL!
So this brings me to FOX news. They of course brought in their “evangelical christian leaders” to show how awful this article is. So, what did they get right then? They brought in Ralph Reed, chairman of the Faith and Freedom Coalition who said that Galli (editor in chief for CT) should consider changing the name of the publication to “Christianity Yesterday.”AND THERE IT IS! Fox is right, the evangelical Church of yesterday is dead. The Church I grew up in, the ones that raised us, taught us are gone. That church existed yesterday, does not exist today, and will likely not exist again. Christianity Today will be used as a resource to study what the church used to be.
So on one hand, it saddens me. I believe that within a generation, the evangelical, and perhaps even larger church as a whole, as we have known it will be done. Buildings will be emptied, turned into shopping centers or schools or just to rubble. It is already happening across every segment of the population year after year. People are leaving the church! They aren’t coming back! The church’s influence on american culture will end. Now, there is a chance of repentance. Perhaps we can remain hopeful for that. Hopeful that the church will turn. That churches who have remained silent so as not to cause division or rock the boat will perhaps speak up now? As the CT article shared that there are times where one needs to speak, where silence is being complicit and leading your people by a lack of words. That “it’s time to call a spade a spade, to say that no matter how many hands we win in this political poker game, we are playing with a stacked deck of gross immorality and ethical incompetence. And just when we think it’s time to push all our chips to the center of the table, that’s when the whole game will come crashing down. It will crash down on the reputation of evangelical religion and on the world’s understanding of the gospel. And it will come crashing down on a nation of men and women whose welfare is also our concern.”
Two other things that give me some hope. First, there are churches that have declared their allegiance not to “evangelicalism” or to Trump or the republican party or even the republic but to the way of Jesus. To his Kingdom vision that was ushered in at his coming as a baby and is being ushered in today. To the way of welcome and love and sacrifice and the possibility of resurrection, healing, and restoration. I believe my church, Mosaic Church in Traverse City, is one of those places. And there are many more. It is imperative that these churches figure out how to pass that faith on to the next generation. Which leads me to the second thing that gives me hope. According to nearly every study, younger generations see what older generations are missing. They see the dissonance. And one day, they will lead us and our churches. They may be starting from scratch or they may be taking up what we intentionally leave behind, but one way or another, a new thing will emerge. Yes, maybe they will read Christianity Today to remember what the church used to be. To remember how it failed. But they will be creating a new story. The church itself will experience resurrection. God haste the day even if we won’t be able to see it!
I’ve been duped. I’ve been tricked. Lied to. I don’t know how else to explain how I feel about Evangelicalism since our last election cycle in 2016. Yes, when Trump was elected president. I’ve felt cynicism rising up inside me. Bitterness and anger too. And it isn’t too far to say that I feel hurt. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. And it isn’t because I am some reactive liberal though I’d guess my conservative friends think that is the case. In fact, no party owns my allegiance. Jesus does. And I haven’t been happy about every person who has ever been elected. What I’m feeling isn’t that. It is something more. I think the reason I feel so much frustration is because I realized that the “church” I grew up in didn’t actually believe what they told me all this time.
I wouldn’t say that as a young person, or even into young adulthood, I felt like Evangelical was the PRIMARY term we used to define our Christian identity. I grew up in “conservative” churches. I think we would more likely say we were a “Bible Church” than Evangelical Church. But they definitely were Evangelical churches even if we didn’t use the word all the time. In the last several decades though, that term or identity has become more prominent. And now the label, especially among white churches, has come to take on more of a political ideology/position than anything else. White evangelicals were more united in voting for Trump in 2016 than any other republican presidential candidate in the past 4 elections at 81%. That is a HUGE majority. And before anybody even for a moment thinks “well, we obviously couldn’t vote for Hillary”, white evangelicals continue to offer Donald Trump immense support. More than ANY other religious affiliation. So, no, they didn’t vote for him because they had no other choice. They made him their nominee, voted fervently for him in the election and continue to support and defend him at nearly all costs. Honestly, I’m not sure Jesus himself could have beaten Trump among white Evangelicals. Simply put, they have given up trying to hide their cards and laid them down on the table.
However, “evangelical” wasn’t meant to have such political overtones. It initially had to do with several main priorities. Traditionally an evangelical was a person or church that believed in the authority of scripture, the sacrificial work of Jesus on the cross, the need for individuals to convert or become saved, and that our faith should affect our public life. In general, I agree with these statements especially if given the chance for some explanation.
I also want to clarify that as I share these thoughts I know I am speaking in broad brush strokes. I know some of this may FEEL like I am making personal assessments. INDIVIDUALS were my Pastors, Sunday School teachers and Youth Leaders. It may also feel like I am talking about a specific church. The one’s I attended growing up. But here my intent is to speak of the “church” of my upbringing in general.
So with all of that being said, and for the reasons below, I no longer want to be considered an Evangelical. For what the word has come to mean today, it no longer defines me or what I believe.
#1 – Sexuality I grew up at a time where the most humiliating thing a teen could do was get pregnant. Of course that goes for the girls. Guys got off easy. It was the time of purity rings and True Love Waits. As a youth pastor, books were coming out left and right telling teens to “Kiss Dating Goodbye.” Sexual purity was the most important thing a teen could pursue. Teen boys were told of the dangers of pornography and that to look at a woman with lust was to commit adultery with her. Teen girls were told to dress modestly so as not to lead boys into temptation. For adults, the worst thing you could do was get a divorce. The sanctity of marriage was championed at every opportunity. Adults and teens were forced to stand before their churches, confessing their sexual immorality, adultery, broken marriages or else be disciplined and removed from the church. Church ushers would be aware if someone was no longer allowed to attend and be prepared to keep them from entering the church building. In the 90’s it was reported that our president had had a sexual relationship with his intern. The church in unison claimed that “character matters!” How could someone who didn’t take marriage and sexuality seriously lead our nation? Simply put, they said he couldn’t.
But they lied to me. The church never believed any of this. In 2016 they elected and continue to support a man who has no boundaries when it comes to his sexuality. He has been divorced multiple times, bragged that other men’s wives were not safe in his presence, bragged and laughed about sexually assaulting women without their permission, paid off porn stars to keep his infidelity a secret, and has been accused of sexual assault and harassment by 24 women. But the church tells me Trump is a christian leader sent by God.
Of course it was eventually discovered that the church itself wasn’t any safer for girls or boys or women. Sexual assault and harassment was happening right in the church buildings. Girls were ashamed to say anything. And somehow many preachers thought they were untouchable and were protected by the “church” at nearly any cost. The institution was more important than any one person including those who had been assaulted, harassed, and raped.
I have no other explanation than the evangelical church never believed what they told me. They lied to me. The tricked me. They lied to those young girls standing in front of their churches fearful and ashamed. They lied to those women who finally left a bad marriage. I’ve been duped.
#2 – Truth I mentioned above that one of the things that typically helps define an Evangelical is the value of the authority of scripture. The Bible is Truth. Without error. In every fact and detail, it is inerrant. I was told that to in anyway remain open to the idea that scripture doesn’t answer every factual, scientific question with 100% accuracy was to cast doubt on the whole thing. Even today as some of my views of scripture have shifted and some of my interpretations have changed, people still throw out bible references claiming that all scripture is “inspired” and true. Truth is found in scripture. And Truth will set you free. Without it we have nothing.
After high school I attended Cornerstone University in Grand Rapids, MI as a Bible Major. There again, Truth was emphasized. In my senior year we had a “Senior Seminar” course in which we wrapped up our schooling, calls to ministry and studied some relevant development of the time that could affect our ministry. Our class studied the shift from the Modern Culture to a Postmodern Culture. We read books and had discussions. It was said that the relativism of the Postmodern Culture was perhaps the greatest threat the church will face in upcoming years. That “Truth” would no longer be valued. That someone could say whatever they want and believe whenever they want with no one having a mechanism to tell them they are wrong.
In 2016 this same church elected and continues to support a man who feels in no way obligated to truth. He will literally say whatever he wants in the moment. On the very first day of his presidency he began defending a lie that his inauguration crowd was the largest ever. How stupid and unimportant!? Why lie about it? It was our first introduction to “alternative facts.” And only a few days ago he said that when a crowd began to chant, “send her back” that he quickly quieted the very few people shouting. It was a lie so obvious, it was absurd. Some estimates place the number of Trump’s public lies and misleading statements since taking office to be over 10,000. And now there are studies that state that our culture can barely tell the difference between opinion and fact due in part to Trump’s perpetual attack on truth. And the church continues to defend him and his lies. Franklin Graham just recently said he doesn’t think Trump lies a lot. He claimed that Trump just does what we all do.
I have no other explanation than the white evangelical church never believed truth was important. They lied to me. The duped me.
#3 – Secularism Growing up, to define anything as “secular” was to question it’s worth. As a musician this often came up in the context of music. We shouldn’t listen to “secular music” but instead listen to Christian music. Even instruments that were introduced and used in Secular Music were thought by many to be instruments that shouldn’t be used in the church. I remember the controversy and conflict caused by the first drum set being set up in the sanctuary of my childhood church. In general, all areas of life were to be influenced by our faith and Christian perspective. Others called it a Christian Worldview. EVERYTHING intersected with our faith. You might even put Christian Schools under this category. The churches I grew up in had a direct role in running the local Christian School. It was thought that Reading, Science and Math were best taught with a Christian perspective. Secularism in general is the idea of keeping God separate and removed from some aspects of life.
But leading up to 2016 and certainly since I’ve discovered that the white Evangelical churches I grew up in was lying to me. I can only assume they never believed it. I have heard people outright question what Jesus has to do with war or economics. Christian leaders like Falwell claim that the way of Jesus doesn’t apply to how Trump should lead. He is not our Pastor in Chief. He and our politics are exempt. I’ve heard Christians state that Jesus command to love our enemy has nothing to do with our ACTUAL enemies. White Evangelical Christians, followers of the crucified and tortured Jesus (tied with catholics) are more likely to support the use of torturing our enemies (68%) than any other religious affiliation. They are also least likely (25%) to believe we have an obligation to care for refugees in our world. (More on that later.)
I have only one explanation for this, the Church has always been secular. They lied to me when they claimed my entire worldview should be shaped by my faith. They never believed that Jesus has authority over EVERYTHING.
#4 – The Bible This may have some overlap to my section on Truth above but I want to separate out one idea. The Bible is the center of Evangelicalism as I have stated above. We went to self proclaimed “Bible Churches.” Not Jesus churches, but Bible churches. From the youngest age we told our kids to memorize scripture and to “hide scripture in their hearts.” As you can see above under secularism, the church literally meant “HIDE” it. But I digress. Children then and today receive pins and ribbons and stickers and candy when they take the time to read and memorize scripture. I was the king of Sword Drills finding Biblical references as quickly as possible. Honestly, as a parent I struggled with these programs because I felt like there was so much pressure to get my kids to memorize the words that they never had opportunity to learn what the words actually meant. And having just a regular Bible wasn’t good enough as we got older. The best Bibles were Study Bibles with notes added at the bottom of every page. Today you can find a study bible for almost any particular purpose or person.
But something more recently has crept into our current culture both regarding the Bible and other categories of thought. It is a suspicion of scholarship. You could add a suspicion of science. It can only be described as anti-intellectualism. Bible scholars are treated as a threat. It is ASSUMED that because they are challenging what may have been a presumed understanding of biblical text they have some hidden agenda. Now to be fair, you could argue every scholar and every PERSON reads and learns with some sort of bias. But nearly everything we know and understand about scripture and the world of scripture was given to us by scholars. People who’s main job it is to study scripture, it’s languages and context. This then overlaps into science. Any one with an expertise in any field is seen as biased and a threat. For example, white evangelicals are the least likely of any religious group to believe that Climate Change is happening as a result of human activity at 28%. This is despite the fact that real scientists (not opinion columnists or politicians) are nearly unanimous on the matter. Our bible literally starts with God telling humanity to steward the earth. Why aren’t we leading the way?
I don’t know how to explain this reluctance to accept or even consider scholarship especially as it relates to scripture. I can only assume that they lied to me about how important scripture is. They never believed it. The Bible was merely a tool to support what they already believed and wanted to force others to believe. I was duped.
#5 – Missions Every year in the churches I grew up in we had one week designated to missions. It usually went by the creative and original title “Missions Week.” The church would invite various missionaries that we supported to come and share their efforts in nations all around the globe. The whole church would focus on the need to share the gospel all around the world. Especially to nations and people who had never heard of Jesus. Somewhere in the church, often in the main lobby, there was usually a bulletin board with a world map. Pins and images would show us where the missionaries our church supported were serving. I remember hearing remarkable stories of faith in the midst of real danger. Families risking everything to share the story of Jesus. We would learn about the 10-40 window which was a part of the world where Jesus was least likely to be known and perhaps the most dangerous to share. Those missionaries could be described as heroes.
Usually at some point during Missions Week two things would happen. First, families would commit to give above and beyond their normal giving in support of these missionaries. What would God lead you to sacrifice so that the gospel could be shared? Of course now I do wonder if that “above and beyond” was more about the church leadership not really wanting to give up any of their own budget for it. After all, we have buildings to build, parking lots to pave and staff to hire. But either way, the church was called to be a part, even from a distance, of what God was doing in our world. The second thing that would typically happen was an invitation to consider whether God was calling you to serve as a missionary. It seemed like every year some would walk up the aisle and commit to serving God in this way. We would pray for them and maybe even applaud their commitment.
As a teenager then the whole idea of Missions took on another level in the form of a mission trip. I along with several youth leaders and teens visited Guatemala. My most vivid memory is that of being taken as guests to the home of a local Guatemalan who was responsible for managing the building project at a local Christian training facility for missionaries where we were helping. As I remember it, the home had a dirt floor with the only roof being above the shared bedroom for he and his many children. Their was a cistern in the middle of the home that collected water…again, no roof. He then provided a meal of corn on the cob for our entire group. I remember the ears of corn were HUGE. I remember the guide telling us that the food he provided us could have fed his family for days. Through all of these experiences I was lead to believe that my church had a deep concern for the people of the world. But I was fooled.
Over the last several years I have realized that the white evangelical church never believed that we had a role to play in loving the world. We sang “Jesus loves the little children” but we didn’t mean it. Or perhaps we meant it as long as they stayed “over there.” When the nations of the world suddenly show up at our doorstep we send them away. When the “children” show up we separate them from their parents causing trauma that will forever affect them. We forbid people from nations in the 10-40 window from ever entering our nation. We build walls on our border and claim these migrants coming from Guatemala and other countries have nothing to offer us. They will only use our great nation, costing us our security, comfort and wealth. And it isn’t just illegal immigration that the white evangelical church stand against. Trump has set a limit of allowing 30,000 refugees to enter the United States in 2019. The lowest in 40 years. And the Trump administration continues to enact policies that will likely completely end the ability of migrants to seek asylum in the United States. And the policies that have lead to so many children being separated from their families can only be described as intentional cruelty to keep others from trying to seek asylum. I already mentioned that white evangelicals are the least likely category of people to believe we have a moral obligation to care for refugees. They are also the only category of people who by a majority believe that immigrants threaten American society and that we should completely ban any refugees from entering our nation.
How do I reconcile this with Mission Weeks, and sacrificial giving, and unbelievable stories and slideshows, and missionary bulletin boards front and center in the church building and invitations to join God in sharing the gospel with all people “red and yellow, black and white”? I can’t. My only conclusion is that they lied to me. They never believed it.
Conclusion: So yes, I feel betrayed. I feel hurt. I feel lied to. The church I grew up in, (whether I now fully agree with everything they hold or not) never really existed. If it did exist, it died. And its death was shockingly fast. So I am leaving it behind. It is not an institution I any longer want to be associated with or help preserve. I am an #exvangelical to use an increasingly popular hashtag. Is there hope for change? Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not sure the “bell can be unrung.” It seems fear and self-preservation are the new priorities of the white Evangelical church and these two things are the anti-thesis to the way of Jesus. “America First” should have no part in the language of the Church. To use a phrase from a video I saw recently, “it is theological heresy.” I am really trying to set aside that anger and bitterness. I am trying to separate individuals from what the movement as a whole has come to represent. I will continue however to share what I believe are the values of Jesus and the implications of his “Good News” or Gospel in our world. I will continue to point out that there are real victims. Those who are being hurt. I don’t know any other way to proceed. For others who were told what I was told and feel how I do today, there are other places to truly encounter God and follow Jesus. Evangelicalism does not = Jesus. If you are the Traverse City area feel free to reach out to me. I find that bitterness, anger, hurt and despair grows the quickest when you feel alone.
I have been a part of a group of a few families that has been studying the Gospel of Matthew now for over 3 years. We joke that we have taken as much time to study it as Jesus took to live it. I suppose in some way that shouldn’t be funny but actually appropriate. That being said, we are nearing the end of Matthew’s gospel and just covered chapter 24. Most look at this chapter as an explanation of the “End Times” and the return of Jesus or his “Second Coming.” Though not the point of this post, I would suggest the meaning of this chapter was intended to have specific meaning to his contemporary audience first and foremost. But like many passages in scripture there is often a meaning on the top layer and then several meanings under that layer. A passage can give us wisdom and insight in a number of different areas. With that in mind, the entire chapter deals with this idea that something is coming and some will be prepared and some won’t. On one hand, we won’t know exactly what or when it will happen, but on the other hand we should keep our eyes towards the horizon. Live for the future that is coming. We should pay attention and stay focused. He gives the example of a fig tree. He shares that as summer approaches the twigs get tender and the leaves begin to sprout. A follower of Jesus should not be so consumed by the immediate situation and circumstances and forget to look for the signs of what may be coming down the road. I believe that the modern church has become incapable of reading the signs. They have missed the leaves sprouting from the fig tree.
There have been many studies over the last several years that have looked at the rapidly changing landscape of religious commitment and identity in the United States. A lot of this is summed up in the rapid increase of the “nones” among Americans. These are those who say they have NO religious affiliation. Today there are as many who consider themselves Nones as there are Evangelicals. They also match the number of Catholics. The decline of those who consider themselves Christian has come across every segment, Protestant and Catholic. Among Evangelicals and Mainline Protestants. No group has escaped the decline.
I remember, what feels like decades ago, the discussions about young people leaving the Church. They seemed to be leaving en masse. But at the same time there were many who felt like this was a normal trend. Young people, those entering college, tend to wander. They stretch their wings, question things and eventually, make their beliefs and their faith their own. Many felt like any significant concern was unwarranted, and that when young people got older they would return. I ran into this article a few days ago and the question is being asked again, will these younger generations return to the church? Are we seeing the “fig leaves sprouting” and should we be concerned about the future or is it nothing? Are we paying attention? Are we reading the signs of the times?
I am of the opinion that there is reason to be concerned. That this is not just a normal part of transitioning from youth to adulthood. Unfortunately, I don’t believe most of the Church is interested in self reflection. It is time for humility and repentance, but instead I see reactions of fear and self-defense. The Church as a whole has dug in it’s heals and buried it’s head in the sand. It seems possible to do both at the same time.
There are several reasons that I believe the rise of the Nones is not just a part of the normal trend of young people to wander. First, the transition of age and phase of life was not the only transition happening over the past several decades. The United States has been in a transition from a Modern culture to a Post-Modern culture. And younger people have experienced most if not all of their lives in a Post-Modern environment. At the same time, the Church has remained mostly in a Modern context and very intentionally so. They often see Post-Modernism as a threat and Modernism as the result of a Christian world view. So if the church sees the culture as a threat, it is difficult to not also portray Post-Modern people as a threat.
Second, the decline of those who consider themselves Christian and rise of those who have no religious affiliation is happening across every age, sex, race, education level and political party. Though not surprising, the slowest growth among the Nones has been among those 50+, republicans or conservatives and among the black community. But even so, it is not JUST a young people problem.
Third, the reasons for leaving are not about their doubt in God or that they have no desire to lead a spiritual life. The most common reason for saying “none” when it comes to religion is that they “question religious teachings.” I dare you to go into your church and REALLY question what they believe. Challenge their understanding of the gospel or scripture or science. I dare you. It won’t go well. The Church is not a safe place to question anything. So people leave. The second most common reason, and perhaps with some overlap to the first, is that they don’t agree with the Church’s position on social/political issues. The Church, in particular the evangelical church, has become so intertwined with the Republican party and with conservative politics in general. For example, 73% of Nones support same sex marriage. This is not a popular position in most Churches today and good reason for the Church to doubt your faith. This entangling is not healthy and anyone who doesn’t fit in the Conservative Box will likely struggle to find a home in the Church. So they leave. Add what I mentioned above about the changing culture, it would be foolish to assume that when they grow up, they will suddenly become unquestioning Republicans. And this issue is only becoming more polarizing. It isn’t getting better.
Some point to the fact that the True Church isn’t actually getting any smaller. Among the data is the fact that those with a “strong religious affiliation” has remained constant. Some argue then that this means it is just those who were never really committed in the first place who are leaving. My initial thought is “well, duh, those who have been unsure in the past have now finally left.” Isn’t this what we would expect? This doesn’t let the Church off the hook though. The question still remains, why were so many in the Church unable to feel strongly about their faith or more so, their need to be in a Church Community? Perhaps it is because the Church saw people as number and tithers? Perhaps we never took following Jesus seriously and challenged people to that sort of life? Maybe, those who are “strong” in their faith are the problem? Hmmm?
So will young Christians return to the church? As of now, I don’t believe they will. Unless the Church can change course. But let’s all be honest…the Church isn’t very good at change. The church isn’t good at humility. The American church in particular isn’t very good at being challenged without claiming to be the victim. It seems to be the only time they actually want to carry a cross. If I am reading the “leaves budding on the fig tree” correctly, there will one way or another be a remnant in the American Church. It is possible one thing will have to die before the next thing begins. OR, and a big OR, the Church could embrace questions. The Church could imagine that there are new voices and new ways of seeing things. The Church could dissect itself from politics and nationalism. The Church could stop defending itself, protecting itself and reach out in Love, just simple Love, to those around them. The Church might confess of it’s own sin before judging everyone else’s. The Church might again become a place of Grace and Peace. The Church could take the call to follow Jesus seriously. I guess we will see what happens. The fig leaves are sprouting. Who is paying attention?
I wanted to put all of my “Coming Out” posts in one place for easy sharing. Feel free to pass along to friends who are asking questions or friends who are certain they already have all the answers. Pass along to LGBTQ friends and family who are trying to sort through all the stuff they are hearing from Churches and Pastors and other Christians.
There is a LOT of information below. I think all of it is important but feel free to pick and choose what you are looking for.
I’d like to say I planned this series to conclude during Pride Month but I’d be lying. The series just took way longer than I thought, and I had more posts than I thought (all previous posts are at the end). Either way though, it has worked out well. I want to share some final thoughts as I wrap this up. A few miscellaneous thoughts and then I’d like to address 5 specific groups of people: The Convinced, The Unconvinced, The Opposed, The Church, and The LGBTQ Community.
Miscellaneous:
So first, I’m a straight, cis-gender, middle aged, white guy. Honestly, I’m not sure I have any right to speak on these matters. But then I consider that some people might hear me in ways that they wouldn’t hear others. Maybe? But I wanted to acknowledge that reality. It is why I started out my first post by admitting that calling my series “Coming Out” is hardly accurate. I will never experience what the LGBTQ community experiences when they Come Out.
Second, I’m sure there could be push back on every point I made. I know closing down comments kept that from happening. But I did it to protect the hearts of my family. And I suppose having grown up in conservative/fundamentalist Christianity there isn’t anything I haven’t heard before. There isn’t an “Aha” moment where someone will share something I haven’t already considered or heard. I will however allow comments on this post. Who knows, maybe there won’t be any. However, if someone just wants to argue, or is rude, or hurtful or if I deem their comment in any other way to be, well assholish….I will delete their comment. If you have genuine insight or thoughts or questions that reflect a heart for LGBTQ people, lets talk. Forgive me as I can’t remember where I saw it, but I recently read a quote that said something like this, “If your heart doesn’t break for LGBTQ people, then you have no right speaking on the matter.”
Third, shortly after posting things on this blog and my Facebook page that stated my conclusions I did have some who shared with me their concern for myself and my family. They assumed I had let culture determine what I believe, that I no longer value scripture, that the devil has lead me astray, that I’m listening to false teachers, and more. I know these people love and care about me. I know that their intentions are good. But I would also say this, for anyone who has known me closely, spent time with me, discussed faith and scripture with me, heard me share thoughts while leading worship or teaching in church and you now think I’ve suddenly lost my mind…..well, I actually think it says more about what you’ve always thought of me than any new revelation you’ve come to. And frankly, I’m OK with whatever conclusions they may make of me.
The Convinced
For anyone who has felt that separation or tension between their heart for LGBTQ people and that voice in the back of their head that says, “but the Bible”, for those who just couldn’t face that tension anymore and concluded that they just didn’t care what the Bible said on this topic anymore, I hope that this has been helpful in giving you complete freedom to love and affirm and welcome our LGBTQ friends and family in our faith communities and lives as well as believing that scripture doesn’t disagree with your heart. In fact, it affirms it. I hope that the Spirit has whispered in your ear, “You are free.” I don’t think our LGBTQ friends and family need a timid, half-hearted love from us. They need us to dive into life with them. Invite them fully into our own lives and faith communities.
The Bible is powerful. And that power can be used to wound and hurt and exclude. And it has done so quite successfully. Don’t let those who would use it that way steal God’s story, His GOOD NEWS. It’s ours as well. That “power” can then be used to heal and bring hope and bring invitation and welcome and give affirmation. It is meant to point us to Jesus, the lover of the broken down and left out. Yes, it is an ancient story written to people in different times and cultures that ours, but the mystery of it is that it’s also a story FOR US. Claim that story. Read that story. Don’t be afraid to study that story or find others that will study it with you. I truly believe you won’t be let down.
The Unconvinced
For those who remain unconvinced, I have a question. Is it at least POSSIBLE that someone who wants to remain faithful to scripture, digs into the text and it’s context, and as a faithful follower of Jesus and God’s call in their life could disagree with the “traditional” understanding of this issue? Is it at least possible that a faithful look at the texts we’ve covered could result in a different interpretation? If so, we have arrived at what Paul calls a “disputable matter.” For Paul and his time these disputable matters were things like eating certain foods (offered to idols, with blood, etc) or whether they were to observe Sabbath. To us these seem like merely secondary issues. I’d argue these were SIGNIFICANT issues to Paul’s readers. Anything associated with idolatry was a big issue. And Sabbath had been one of the primary ways in which they demonstrated God’s presence in their lives and community. It was one of the Big 10! These issues along with others were tearing the early church apart. So saying something is a disputable matter doesn’t mean it is an issue that doesn’t matter or that the Scripture isn’t clear on it (their scriptures were clear on both). I’ve often wondered why Paul didn’t just clear things up and tell the Roman church and other churches what to do? Why not just spell it out for them? This is OK. This is not. He was “inspired” right? He could have come up with the right answer. There has to be ONE right answer! There has to be ONE truth! But he didn’t. The right answer in this situation wouldn’t help the church, then and today, deal with any other issue that at one time seemed to be agreed upon and now there was uncertainty. They needed wisdom, not answers. We need wisdom today as well.
At the same time Disputable Matters wouldn’t be things that form the center of our faith. The things that Paul says are of “first importance.” And claiming something as a disputable matter doesn’t mean we give up the right to claim some things as sin. As I mentioned in the last post, many of the ways in which homosexuality was practiced in Paul’s day we would ALL agree today is still sin. When we see an issue as a “disputable matter” we agree to grant freedom to those living faithfully to Jesus. We trust the Spirit to guide them. We do no harm to others. We do not exclude. This is a possible way forward for those in our Churches and LGBTQ communities who arrive at a place of uncertainty yet have hearts that are soft and loving toward one another.
We then focus on the things that we do ALL agree on. That a Christian Faith not lived out in Loving Others is no Christian Faith at all. At least not one worth preserving. We agree that the arc of the gospel story in the NT is towards inclusion. That it brings into community those who were once outside of community. We agree that when sin is to be the focus of our thoughts it is best to first focus on our own brokenness and seek to continue to be transformed into the likeness of Jesus. We agree that the world desperately needs to hear and see the story of a God who loves them and pursues them. These things and more we should be able to agree on.
The Opposed
For those who after reading still find themselves fully opposed to the position that the Church should fully embrace and affirm LGBTQ persons, I have several suggestions. These come from knowing exactly where you are coming from. This was my world. This is where many in my family reside. Your position is not a mystery to me. But I believe these things will at least create the possibility for you to build relational bridges with the LGBTQ community. I hope you at least want to show love to them.
First, don’t enter into conversation with the opposing view if you haven’t studied for yourself. What you have been told by others isn’t a good enough reason to believe it. When I spent a significant time studying the role of science and faith in particular as it relates to the Creation/Evolution debate I discovered that all of the “arguments” conservatives were prepared to make were made up debates. They had only “imagined” what those who accepted Evolutionary science believed. Therefore, their “arguments” were pointless because they were prepared for an imaginary adversary that didn’t actually exist. So, you need to study. You need to read. You need to read the opposing view. Don’t take your pastor’s, your church’s, your denomination’s word for it. If you aren’t willing to do the hard work of reading and studying, just keep your opinion to yourself. You are only building walls.
Second, don’t tell people you believe what you believe because YOU believe in the Bible. Because clearly anyone who would disagree with you must not value scripture? I have already stated that I believe many in the affirming community have dismissed taking the time to have a good scriptural argument for their position because they have actually taken this bait hook, line and sinker. However, there is no conversation to be had if you don’t agree that many on both sides believe what they believe exactly because they DO believe in and value scripture. At least give others the benefit of the doubt that scripture is important to them also. That in those pages and words we discover who God is and what Jesus has done and how we are to live.
Third, don’t ever use the phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin”…the Bible never says it. Jesus never says it. Love others. Love sinners. Just love. I think that expression was created because we realize that much of what we do and how we act and how we talk definitely feels like hate to those on the receiving end. This in our minds excuses that behavior. “The hate you feel isn’t towards you, it is towards your sin.”
Fourth, stop talking about the Gay Agenda as if their goal is to make everyone gay. Their agenda is to live. Their agenda is to be a part of families. To be a part of Churches. To have cake at their wedding. To buy a home. To go to the Doctor. To adopt a child. To not be afraid. THAT is their agenda.
And fifth, get to know and befriend a LGBTQ person. I realize it may be hard. You may not currently know anyone or at least don’t THINK you do. Listen to them. Eat with them. Hug them. I GUARANTEE you Jesus would.
The Church
To the Church as a whole, we have been wrong. Some have hopefully arrived at an affirming position. We can admit that we were wrong. We have excluded those who God would accept and welcome with open arms. Others won’t arrive there, but I hope they can admit the Church has been wrong in the treatment of our LGBTQ friends, family and neighbors. That we would weep for the pain we have caused. That our insides, our guts, would tremble when we consider what our LGBTQ brothers and sisters have endured at our hands. We all need to repent and ask for forgiveness. Recently while reading and studying Matthew with my small group I found it interesting that Jesus seems to hold Israel of his day responsible for the deeds of their ancestors. I think the idea is that our past is a part of our present. The actions of our larger community are a part of my story and my community. We are responsible for one another. We bear a burden to right the wrongs of each other as a community.
Our posture has been US vs THEM. We often assume LGBTQ persons are not in our families or churches. We assume that “Gay Christians” don’t exist. Recently the Marin Foundation conducted the largest study and survey of LGBTQ persons ever about their religious experiences. What it found was amazing and surprising, but probably shouldn’t be if we are honest with ourselves. 86% of the LGBTQ community were raised in a faith tradition. Most of course being in a Christian Church. This is actually higher than the general population! And “raised in” doesn’t mean occasional attendance. It means weekly engagement and participation in their faith community. You understand what this means right?
THEY ARE US! The battle has been US vs. US! We have been hurting, wounding ourselves! Our daughters. Our sons. Our friends. And you may not even know it!
Most, 54%, of the LGBTQ community left their churches as adults (after 18 years old). And most, way more than the general population wished they could come back. 76% of those who left said they were open to coming back. And the heartbreak continues. The number one reason they left isn’t even what the Church “believes” about homosexuality. It is because of their experiences and the treatment they received! And even after leaving the church, over a 1/3 continue to practice their faith. Either in private or different types of faith communities. And many of those actually take their faith more seriously than those still in the church! Can you imagine what would happen to our churches if these faith filled, loving people were welcomed back? Can you imagine how each of us would experience love in ways we never have before? Please Church! Change course! Repent! Love!
The LGBTQ Community:
Let me start: “I am so sorry! I have been wrong! We have been wrong! Let us carry your pain. Let us share in your wounds. Tell us your stories. Sit with us. Worship with us. Please forgive me! Please forgive us! If you need time, we will give you time. If you don’t trust us, please let us earn it back again. I love you!”
I am convinced that God loves you so much! More than I can imagine! More than you can imagine! I am convinced that your gifts, your abilities, your “unique you” is so important to our faith communities. We are not the same without you! I won’t try to convince you that you need us. That you need me. But I know we need you!
To my daughter Pearl: you are loved! Don’t let anyone ever make you feel you are not. They lie! God loves you! We love you! No matter who you are, what you become, who you love. If there are ever those who would hurt you whether they be family or friends or strangers, we are with you. We have your back. We will stand in front. We will walk by your side. Always!
Final, final thoughts:
I know I have shared a lot, but I will end where I started. I believe that the Church, followers of Jesus, can and should fully affirm and welcome our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters into the Church! I know MANY are not there yet, but times are changing. And changing quickly! I believe the future of the LGBTQ community is bright. I believe that for Churches and followers of Jesus who can bust down the walls we’ve piled up and begin to build bridges, our future is bright as well. In the end I truly believe “Love Wins!”
I hope I have helped. I hope I have moved us forward. Thanks for reading.
I’ve shared my belief that the Church can fully welcome and include LGBTQ persons as they are. Before getting to scripture, I’ve tried to share what LGBTQ persons experience largely at the hands of the Church, their families, and culture at large which, until recently, was largely influenced by the church’s posture.
Pain. Assault. Harassment. Discrimination. Homelessness. Unrealistic expectations of change. Shame. Guilt. Doubt. And for far too many, the utter loss of hope and the taking of a reflection of God, dearly loved by God, life. That is the fruit. I asked a question at the end of my last blog post about what the fruit says of the tree, but before I get there I want to think about the harm it has done to the church itself. I want to talk about Hypocrisy, Perception and Mission.
Hypocrisy: Jesus hated hypocrisy!! I’m sure he wasn’t fond of heresy either but hypocrisy really got his blood boiling. I suppose we could even assume that hypocrisy flows from believing the wrong thing, but Jesus chose to confront one more often than the other. Hypocrisy could be defined in several ways. We are hypocrites when we say one thing and do another. We are hypocrites when pretending to be something we are not, when we praise Jesus on Sunday but don’t follow him on Monday. We are hypocrites when we judge others for doing something we do. We are hypocrites when we judge others as if we are better than them without ever evaluating ourselves. We are hypocrites when we are ready to point out the sin in others but are blind to our own. We are hypocrites when we focus on the small and ignore the big. Even when Jesus didn’t use the word, which he often did, he still seemed to constantly confront inconsistent living in all its forms. And he seemed to do it most often with those who thought they were the most holy, most scripturally pure. Yes, the Pharisees. Just read Matthew 23 and tell me you don’t feel like you went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson?! I love the image of straining out a gnat in a bowl of soup but then eating an entire camel. Talk about missing the point.
But I also want to acknowledge this – we are all hypocrites. We all do the things listed above. But it is one thing to be a hypocrite, admit it and live with the humility that it calls for and another to do what the church as whole has done in the way that it discusses and treats LGBTQ persons. I would suggest that what the Church has done has hoisted a flag with HYPOCRITE emblazoned across it. We have let it become our defining characteristic. It is our banner to those looking in from the outside. Yes, we have strained gnats, eaten camels, and judge everyone else while we are trying to gag it down.
For instance, we have become so focused on sexual sin as the big sin. Whether it be a pregnant teen or someone coming out as LGBTQ. Yet, pastors, churches, and entire denominations have not taken sexual assault and harassment seriously in their own communities. In many cases intentionally hiding it and calling those hurt liars. Story after story. The #metoo movement and the more personal #churchtoo movement spreads like wildfire. And yet I feel like I hear more people shrugging it off as some sort of liberal scheme than offering remorse and sorrow. Those not in the church (and to be honest, many in) see this display and are not impressed. For merely stating that I believe LGBTQ persons can fully enter the church, some believe I fit into the category of “false teacher”, or “wolf in sheep’s clothing” or I’ve been “deceived by the enemy.” I recently received an email from someone who I know deeply cares about me and my family sharing things to the effect of what I just mentioned. I wonder how many people who are unkind, critical in spirit, proud, greedy, gluttons, unforgiving, lazy, unloving towards their enemies, unwelcoming to the foreigner, also receive those sorts of emails?
Here is another thing to consider. There are a total of 7 verses (6 passages) in scripture that speak directly to what we might call homosexual behavior. Some throw the Genesis creation account in as well, so fine, 8 verses. This one topic, unrelated to who Jesus is, his death, his resurrection, his salvation, his forgiveness, based on 7 verses, destroys families, splits denominations, pits friend against friend. It seems to be THE issue of the day. The truest test of christian orthodoxy. Well, what about fear? You’ve probably heard it said that the most common command in scripture is “Do not be afraid.” It is mentioned 105 times (or so, maybe 110). When we look at the culture in our churches today do we see fear? Do we see people functioning out of the fear of the other, the immigrant, sharia law, the liberal, the loss of religious freedom, fear of socialism, loss of their influence on society, fear that they might be persecuted? Speaking for myself, at times, and more so recently, it is all that I see from the Church. What about money? Money is easily the MOST talked about topic in scripture. Some say there are between 2000 and 3000 if you consider all of the forms the topic takes. One in ten verses in the gospel deal with money. It seems to matter to Jesus as well. But to be honest, the money verses the church seemed the most focused on were the ones about giving….to them! We call it the tithe. Or it seems that sometimes churches spend more time talking about raising money for their next building project than for taking care of the poor. Oh, and don’t forget that verse that says “God helps those who help themselves” or “give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for life” and “faith, hope and love, but most of all….don’t enable.” Has the church taken the same, all in, die on this hill, approach to caring for the poor? If not, the world notices it. I could go on and on but I think you get the point.
So here is my suggestion to those churches who take a traditional view of the “gay” passages. You better be as blameless as possible!! Pull the logs out of your eyes! Take a second look in the mirror before you once again forget what you look like! Spit out the camel! Don’t praise the Lord on Sunday if you don’t plan to follow Him on Monday! Don’t tithe your weekly paycheck if you don’t care about justice! Don’t spend time white washing a tomb and then slam the door to the kingdom in people’s faces! There is just too much at stake.
Perception: You all know what it is…it is reality! Intentions are important, they are a first step. But if others don’t experience it, feel it, it has little effect. So I’d like to say this now, I believe that MANY Christians and churches with a traditional view of the Bible’s teaching on homosexuality intend to love LGBTQ people. There are two problems. First, there are so many voices and behaviors that speak otherwise. Gay jokes, rants about the “gay agenda”, blaming disasters on them, scoffing every time they are on TV, and more….it all adds up to them not believing you. Simply put, the church has been much better at “hating the sin” than “loving the sinner.” It seems like one takes priority over the other. Perhaps this is so difficult to live out for conservative churches because the Bible never says this is how we are to live. It just simply says “love your neighbor.” We are all sinners, so saying “love the sinner” is redundant and perpetuates the “us versus them” mentality. All though a slightly older study, Barna found that “Today, the most common perception is that present-day Christianity is “anti-homosexual.” Overall, 91% of young non-Christians and 80% of young churchgoers say this phrase describes Christianity. As the research probed this perception, non-Christians and Christians explained that beyond their recognition that Christians oppose homosexuality, they believe that Christians show excessive contempt and unloving attitudes towards gays and lesbians. One of the most frequent criticisms of young Christians was that they believe the church has made homosexuality a “bigger sin” than anything else.” I don’t think it is an exaggeration to state that the youngest generations in America are the most un-reachable that have ever existed, and it is largely the Church’s fault. They are less likely to have any exposure to the church and from what they see, they are unimpressed and uninterested. The church has become defined by what we are against rather than our Love (the second most talked about subject in scripture by the way). This should be important no matter your position.
Mission: The church is a people on a mission. Ushering and living out the Kingdom of God here in our place and time. We are then inviting everyone we see to a place at the table. Even assuming a traditional view on homosexuality, our mission is not to be the morality police. Jesus tells us that we have “good news” to share! We need to find a way to tell it, live it and make it actually sound “good” to those we encounter. Jesus says that the harvest is great! If we aren’t seeing a harvest, something isn’t right. I include myself in that critique. Jesus tells two parables that teach this principle – mission over morality. First, he shares a parable of a farmer who planted a field of wheat but the enemy sowed weeds. Jesus tells his disciples that we should let them both grow up together. That if we are anxious to pull the weeds before the harvest we will likely do significant harm and pull wheat as well. Some scholars direct our attention to a weed that was common at the time which meant that the wheat and weed looked very similar. Our mission is to tend and care for the field. God will take care of the harvest. The second is a parable of a wedding feast where the invited guests don’t show up. The father, frustrated, does not intend for the feast to go uneaten and his son to be uncelebrated, so he sends his servants out to the “street corners” and tells them to invite anyone, “the good and the bad.” When the father gives the direction, “the good and the bad”, he is telling them not to worry about labeling people. Designating them in some way. Just invite them to the feast! I believe the Church has been distracted and weakened by our pre-occupation with the sin of others.
Bad Fruit = Bad Tree
I am trying to persuade you that this is the fruit that the Church has produced both in the LGBTQ community and within the Church. How can this be good fruit? How can our hearts not break at the harm we have caused? Simply put, bad fruit does not come from good trees. Something is wrong! This teaching of Jesus certainly applies to individuals, but I think it is appropriate to apply it to the Church body as well. As I said before, I know there are many who have the truest intentions to love LGBTQ people in our communities, families and churches. Their hearts break just as mine do. But it is a tricky thing. Sometimes what our churches think is love, looks so close to harm. I’m reminded of a story in Isaiah of a vineyard. A common symbol for Israel. God has given those in the Vineyard everything they need to produce a great harvest. God even asks, “what more could I have done?” But instead of getting a harvest of good grapes, it produces wild grapes. God explains that he will take away all that he had given to the Vineyard. The story ends with a powerful statement.
“And he looked for justice, but saw bloodshed; for righteousness, but heard cries of distress. “
Isaiah 5:7b
What makes this statement even more powerful is seeing it in the Hebrew. It hammers home what God is saying about his people. Justice (mishpat) <> Bloodshed (mishpach) Righteousness (tsedakah) <> Cries of distress (tseakah) You see, both the words themselves and actions can look so similar. Our intentions, if we are not so incredibly careful, end up producing something that when we look at it seems like the right thing but is in fact the very worst thing!
A Third Way? Many with a traditional view have recognized the very literal “bloodshed” and “cries of distress.” They are attempting to change the conversation and posture of the Church towards LGBTQ persons. Some are calling for a Third Way forward. Pastor Andy Stanley ruffled feathers when he recently recommended Churches “take a break” from the culture wars. He declared that regardless of our opinions, the Church should be the “safest place on the planet for students to talk about anything, including same-sex attraction.” He is trying to reconcile his head and his heart. Of course some considered it a sign of his immanent apostasy and others shared that it sounds good but it isn’t working. Scot McKnight, who is easily one of my favorite authors spends a full chapter in his book A Fellowship of Differents discussing how the church can move forward. I hope I summarize him correctly, he believes the community of faith, the fellowship of the church is where transformation takes place. If our posture and approach keeps LGBTQ persons from gathering with us, then we are not concerned about their salvation and transformation. But more importantly, we are ALL in the midst of transformation in so many different ways. We need each other. In essence, if we trust one another, are pursuing Jesus, are listening to the Spirit, then we can allow each person to journey as they are directed. Preston Sprinkle is another traditionalist who is seeking to challenge the church as to whether it has loved well. He has a recent book, A People To Be Loved that tries to emphasize just that. I will admit I have yet to read it but will be doing so. I want to say clearly, whether after all that I have to say, anyone is persuaded to change their minds about whether the Church can fully include LGBTQ persons, please, PLEASE, seek to love them better! Ask God for a tender heart to their pain! Ask God to make conversations about doctrine, and text, and Hebrew or Greek words in every way a personal experience related to real people.
That being said, I do want to offer a quick critique of these “Third Ways.” It is not a path of full acceptance and assumes that at some point they will agree that their attractions, or desire for a same sex relationship, or gender identity, are in fact sin. It allows them to sing with us but not lead us. It allows them to tithe but not get married. At some point we get to “we love you, but…” It seems like it is merely a delayed first way. If at any point someone concludes that God accepts their sexuality/identity and they can pursue faithful, consensual relationships, the welcome will end. I struggle to invite any LGBTQ person into that potential heart break.
In my next posts I plan to start looking at scripture. I know this is where many want to immediately jump to. That is in part why I turned off comments. So my following posts will discuss how I view the Bible in general and how I understand what many call the “clobber passages” on homosexuality.
A few items of information. First, this post and the ones to follow (I’m thinking 2 or 3 more) can’t say everything I want to say on this topic – LGBTQ/Church/Scripture. I will say some things, answer questions and ignore others and that fact may frustrate some. However, I will give several resources in a later post for further personal study. Second, I have turned off comments for now. I may open them up after I finished all of my posts on the subject. To be honest, I am protecting my heart and the heart of my family in that decision. It is not because I am afraid of dialogue. Those who know me know that isn’t true. However, If you want to sit down over a cup of coffee that would be fine. Third, this post is in a small way a response to the UMC General Conference that just ended in which by a 53% affirmative vote they decided to affirm the “Traditional Plan” in regards to the LGBTQ community. As someone who recently took on a worship leader role at a UMC church, the decision was definitely important to me. But these posts are really more than that, it is something that has been brewing for years and years. Those who have been close to me over the past several years will not be surprised by any of this. We have all discussed these topics at length. But now I am going public. Here it is without commentary at this point:
I believe that LGBTQ persons can be fully welcomed, included and enter into all aspects of the Church as they are.
I struggled with what to call this post. It is probably silly that I try to come up with catchy titles thinking maybe someone will want to read, or will gain something from, my thoughts. The obvious title is what I went with – Coming Out. But my next thought was whether that was insensitive to the LGBTQ community who actually do “come out.” However, there is still a certain level of fear that I feel sharing this publicly. What will people think? What will people that have known me my whole life think? Will those who in the past have commented that they appreciate my thoughtfulness, my wisdome, ability to share truths from scripture, to challenge people in their following of Jesus suddenly see me in one single moment as completely compromised in all things? They will throw out a Bible reference at me as though it may have never crossed my mind. As though I didn’t know Leviticus or Romans or 2 Timothy existed. It is probably more a result of how highly they thought of me in the first place though. I have to remember that. But the reality is my fear and worry are nothing compared to what those who are actually a part of the LGBTQ community face when they come out.
I grew up in churches that held a very traditional view of this topic, and well, every topic. But I was always uncomfortable with the Church’s posture towards this community. I knew what I’d been taught and could easily regurgitate all the main concepts and arguments. My heart, however, felt that something was simply wrong. In 2005 I planted a church with several friends in Traverse City and very soon after we began meeting a Bi-sexual women began attending. I believe she knew our “position” but we never felt the need to confront her on this. We just welcomed her. Were we wrong to do that? Some certainly thought so. At another point, a member of our church had invited a gay friend to our gathering. If memory serves correctly, he grew up in the church, but he left due to the hurt he experienced. Upon inviting her friend the member of our church let everyone know that they may come with her soon. She wanted us to know he had experienced hurt and wanted to make sure we would welcome him and love him. When some in our church heard that this friend may come, they asked to meet with me and a few others from our leadership team. They wanted to know how we would handle this. I shared that though we affirmed the traditional view of scripture and that we would welcome and embrace this friend. They, however, felt it was necessary for us to make sure that this friend understood our theological position. My impression was that they wanted us to state on the week they attended that we held to a “biblical” view of homosexuality being a sin. I would not do that. That family left. Something about that just didn’t seem right.
For the past 15 years or so I have been re-evaluating nearly everything I’ve held to be true of God, scripture, Jesus, the gospel. Some things have definitely changed and other things were just confirmed. Five years ago I decided now was the time to deeply consider what is easily the most discussed and consequential issue the church faces today. This time of study led to my conclusion which I promise, I will share more on.
As I studied and read, our entire family would have conversations about the issues and the biblical texts. I love that our kids enjoy these sorts of conversations. That we have raised critical thinkers who are not afraid of questions and digging. And at the same time, they are passionate about the things they believe. Because they are willing to change their minds, it doesn’t mean they lose conviction. So, we all journeyed together and arrived at what I stated above. We can fully embrace and love LGBTQ persons as they are. Fast forward to just over two years ago. Our teenage daughter Pearl was crying upstairs and Mary went up to see what was wrong. It wasn’t a normal cry. Pearl shared that she had been upset all day at school. She spent the last two hours of the day crying with her friends and skipping class. She then shared through many tears with Mary that she was Bi-sexual. At the time, that felt less scary for her. Like it would give us hope that she was still in some way “normal.” Now she would say she is gay. She was scared of what her brothers and sisters would think. What about our little house church, how would they feel? She was scared about how her grandparents would feel. She was scared about what her aunts, uncles, and cousins would think. She was filled with fear. She was afraid that everyone would look at her differently. She was scared that people would think she was some sort of sicko, pervert, disordered. That maybe she just wanted to rebel. Maybe she was just making it up. Did she now have some sort of homosexual agenda? Did Pearl cease being Pearl? And let’s be honest, how many of us have said things that would be incredibly hurtful to someone going through what Pearl was going through. Even if we didn’t know it or mean it.
It hit me in a way it never had before. Pearl knew how we felt about the issue and yet she was terrified to tell us. We told her it changes nothing about how we feel about her. We will support her and defend her against anyone who would wish to harm her. Anyone! Then I began to wonder how awful it would be for teens who KNOW that their parents, friends, church would think those things. What does a school counselor tell that teen crying in their office? “You know that no matter what, your parents will love you?” The counselor knows there is a good chance that may not be true. Maybe even especially if they are Christians. Then the young man or woman goes home to confront angry parents, heartbroken parents or even worse, parents shutting the door to their home with their son or daughter on the other side. They face churches that have to first make sure they understand all the Bible verses that say it is wrong. Maybe they need to meet with the board, the church and confess? This is the issue churches know they HAVE to confront. Bitter, critical people? No. Divisive people? No. Unloving people? No. People who have more than they need despite their neighbor not having enough? No. But teens who are gay? Yes. Like that family who left Sojourn, they just have to let these kids know where they stand on the issue. What about kids at school? What will they say? They have said things to Pearl. What will people post online? For others, it will be fear of losing their job, their reputation, their role in the church or community. They feel like they have everything to lose. I can’t imagine that weight. It would be absolutely crushing!! Something just doesn’t seem right about all of this. Something!
So my “coming out” pales in comparison to what LGBTQ persons experience when they share who they are. When they share what they are feeling. When they share their fears. Can we start with that? Can we start with the ability to imagine what that must feel like? To carry that weight? Jesus was moved with compassion when he sees a crowd that had followed him into the desert and they are hungry. The word there, compassion, is rooted in a word that means your guts, bowels, insides. He was moved by their need and his gut ached. Does our gut ache for these people? Do we experience physical pain as we imagine their pain? Are we moved with compassion when we consider that weight they carry, that crushing weight? If not, something is wrong. Something is wrong with you especially if you consider yourself a Christian. In my next post, I want to talk about what bearing that CRUSHING weight does to people.
I came across this post by James Bratt on Scot Mcknight’s blog, Jesus Creed. First, a reflection or two and then a couple of punch you in the gut quotes.
In the article James discusses the fact that religious historians are currently discussing what the vote in 2016 and the (white) evangelical support of Donald Trump means. Why does it matter that historians are already considering these events you ask? It means they believe evangelical support of Donald Trump will have lasting effects. It means they believe this is not a “blip on the screen” sort of event. It will matter….long term.It is History in the Making! I think in the minds of some evangelicals, this was a short term trade-off. What they will gain right now will be worth it in the long run. Other better-qualified leaders will certainly come along in the future.
Daytime television is a funny thing especially when it comes to commercials. Depending the on the channel you can pretty quickly tell who they think their audience is. Sometimes they are clearly directed to stay at home moms and sometimes you get commercial after commercial for walk-in tubs and Reverse Mortgages. I might suggest that American, white evangelicals have taken out a Reverse Mortgage with their vote for and more importantly, at least according to many polls, continued support of President Trump. For those that don’t know, a Reverse Mortgage allows you to sell your home back to the bank and provides income in your later years. So you can pay some bills, take care of medical expenses, even make improvements to your house. BUT, in the end, you will no longer own your home. It is a last resort.
By comparison then, evangelicals as a voting bloc have been building something for years and years….influence, ministries, a reputation, even slogans like “character matters” oriented around their faith. More importantly, the Church has become intertwined with that political power and influence. So in voting for and supporting Donald Trump, they believe they have something to gain. Some judges, religious protections, maybe some tougher abortion regulations, keeping immigrants out (which I didn’t even know was a conservative Christian value, go figure) and a proud declaration of “Merry Christmas” in December. But my fear is when all is said and done they will be homeless. The house they built will be repossessed by the bank. They sold out on the very thing that used to be the core of their community – their faith.
Now a couple of quotes:
Ouch #1 – This didn’t just appear out of nowhere. “In the wake of 2016 they have turned new eyes upon the past and are finding that what the Trump election exposed in “evangelical” ranks has been there all along: racism, misogyny, militant American nationalism, deference to corporate capitalism, a cult of arms and violence, all high on a mixed cocktail of persecution complex and triumphalism. Previous exculpatory evidence (Billy Graham defied Jim Crow at his Southern rallies) now bows beneath a heavier load (Billy Graham wouldn’t recognize structural racism if it bit him on his blessed bottom, and it was the sainted Dwight L. Moody who conceded to segregated revival meetings in the first place). ”
Ouch #2 – Live by, Die by. (note: 1976 – rise of the “religious right”) “If you rise with 1976, you can’t help but fall with 2016. “Evangelicalism,” especially in its white American version, has been political in its character as well as its appeal from the start. The best way forward is not to deny that but to try to change the politics it bears. That might well be impossible. If so, or even if reform can happen, the brand now carries a very heavy burden of proof as it once received too indulgent a waiver. Perhaps that’s one of the crosses that the faithful Christians among the “evangelicals” will have to bear for the next generation.”
pilgrim musings 